trophy husbands need not apply

While hanging out in the lounge between classes, we determined that, of the 11 girls of Section 1B (that includes HM, who will always be a 1B-er, no matter what Student Affairs says), two are married, one is engaged, one is engaged to be engaged, and five are in relationships of varying degrees of seriousness--putting the grand total of single girls in our mentor group at...two. Sorry guys. Guess it's still a seller's market for sugar mamas.

I'm not the only one

This comic strip appeared on Friday, January 20. Coincidence? I think not.

I don't have a fire escape, but arrangements could be made.

dear diary

yeah so like, that little angry asian chick who lives downstairs just came up and pounded on my door and told me my music was too loud. ok well, she didn't really tell me, but she glared at me, and since she's been up here like, maybe like, seven or eight times, i kind of got the hint, because i'm smart.

but anyway. i digress. (did you know that means to go off on a tangent? yeah. i learned that today in class. oh wait. i didn't go to class today because i overslept because like, i had friends over last night and we were up pretty late, but whatever man, college is all about the relationships! oh wait, but i'm digressing again. dammit.)

so anyway, yeah, she was standing there, all short and pissed off and stuff, and i was like, uhh, what's up? and she was all "do you want to come downstairs and hear how loud it is?" and i was like, "duh, whatever, i like, live here, i KNOW how loud it is." she doesn't seem very bright. i thought people in law school were supposed to be like smart and shit. anyway, so i was like, "yeah, but it's daytime" but then she like, glared at me again, and then she kind of rolled her eyes, so i was just like, "ok, sorry," cuz i am AWESOME with the ladies, and if there's one thing i've learned it's like, when a chick has her panties in a bunch, you just say "ok, whatever," and let her have her way. works every time! *schawing!*

but anyway. i am so tired of her complaining about my music. i mean, it's like music, dude! and it's seriously wack that she even cares anyway. she said something about studying, but i was like, whatever, nobody does that. i think once she said something about taking a nap too, but i was like whatever, cuz that's totally what class is for. she's just anal. (did you know that actually is short for "anal retentive"? it means your parents totally potty trained you too early. WACK! I KNOW! some australian guy came up with it. froyd maybe? eh, whatever.)

anyway, i think she should just chill out and stop bothering me. i have rights too you know! she's in law school, don't they talk about rights? man, i think i'm smarter than she is. i could totally go to law school too. watch me, all "boston legal." i could totally kick william shatner's ass!

ok well i have to go. me and some friends are meeting at this chick's house to hang out, if you know what i mean. i love college.

awkward

Yesterday, while buying beer at Randall's:

Checkout guy: (noticing my teeth are chattering) Cold?
Me: Yes.
CG: How can you be cold?
Me: What can I say? Texas born and bred.
CG: (indicating his short-sleeved shirt) Well, I'm from California!
Me: Well, uhh...I guess I'm a wimp. (Handing him the beer)
CG: ID?

I hand him my ID, he rings it up, I swipe my credit card. A middle-aged guy then walked up in line next to me.

Middle-aged guy: (to CG) Did you check her ID??
Me: I'm 25.
Middle-aged: No way!
Me: Way.
CG: I'm 18!
Me: Yeah...(mumbling something about feeling old, and how time goes so fast that I'll wake up tomorrow and be 40 or something)
CG: It's a good thing you aren't waking up 40 in my family!
Me: Um...why?
CG: Because if you did, we'd spray you with Silly String!

Does this ever happen to anybody else?

RTFQ!

I am trying to buy a textbook on ebay. I found one, but the picture was a little grainy and made the book look like it was in poor shape. The description said simply: "This is a must have for Con Law I and II. A perfect replacement for any lecture from some self-righteous con law professor!" Nothing about the condition. Being a little picky about my books, and figuring that maybe the seller just had a crappy camera, I sent this query:

"What condition is this book in? (How heavily highlighted/marked up is it? Are there water stains, etc.?) thanks, SP"

I received this response:

"Yes, it is a used book. However, if you don't buy this book for me you should get it because it definitaly makes more sense then the teacher. best, ___"

Sigh.

Eat it, USC.

Matt Leinart, you seem like a nice guy and I find it endearing that you drive a crappy little Ford Ranger with no back bumper. I'm sorry it had to end this way. However, I wouldn't go saying things like "I still think we're the better team. They just made the plays at the end." It just makes you sound bitter, and that's sooooo 2005.

Mack Brown, I am sorry I ever doubted you.

Vince, you are my hero. Please please please please please please please please don't go to the NFL.