disgruntled

It's a little demoralizing to read this article when one is 1) a female 2) in the middle of writing a final brief 3) for a law school class. What's the point? Clearly I should be married and popping out babies by now.

Side note: Asshole Upstairs is being evicted. (I think the final straw was his refusal to let the landlord in so the landlord could figure out why there was water pouring out of my ceiling.) So long, Asshole Upstairs. I hope they slap you with thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. And maybe additional monetary sanctions for being a Grade A douchebag.

On being Klassy

Upstairs Asshole's friend peed in the flower bed outside my window last night around 12:30.* Because it's obviously so difficult to go upstairs and use the toilet like a potty-trained adult.

*I know this because Upstairs Asshole came downstairs and Friend of Upstairs Asshole proudly proclaimed he'd done so.

dear diary

yeah so like, that little angry asian chick who lives downstairs just came up and pounded on my door and told me my music was too loud. ok well, she didn't really tell me, but she glared at me, and since she's been up here like, maybe like, seven or eight times, i kind of got the hint, because i'm smart.

but anyway. i digress. (did you know that means to go off on a tangent? yeah. i learned that today in class. oh wait. i didn't go to class today because i overslept because like, i had friends over last night and we were up pretty late, but whatever man, college is all about the relationships! oh wait, but i'm digressing again. dammit.)

so anyway, yeah, she was standing there, all short and pissed off and stuff, and i was like, uhh, what's up? and she was all "do you want to come downstairs and hear how loud it is?" and i was like, "duh, whatever, i like, live here, i KNOW how loud it is." she doesn't seem very bright. i thought people in law school were supposed to be like smart and shit. anyway, so i was like, "yeah, but it's daytime" but then she like, glared at me again, and then she kind of rolled her eyes, so i was just like, "ok, sorry," cuz i am AWESOME with the ladies, and if there's one thing i've learned it's like, when a chick has her panties in a bunch, you just say "ok, whatever," and let her have her way. works every time! *schawing!*

but anyway. i am so tired of her complaining about my music. i mean, it's like music, dude! and it's seriously wack that she even cares anyway. she said something about studying, but i was like, whatever, nobody does that. i think once she said something about taking a nap too, but i was like whatever, cuz that's totally what class is for. she's just anal. (did you know that actually is short for "anal retentive"? it means your parents totally potty trained you too early. WACK! I KNOW! some australian guy came up with it. froyd maybe? eh, whatever.)

anyway, i think she should just chill out and stop bothering me. i have rights too you know! she's in law school, don't they talk about rights? man, i think i'm smarter than she is. i could totally go to law school too. watch me, all "boston legal." i could totally kick william shatner's ass!

ok well i have to go. me and some friends are meeting at this chick's house to hang out, if you know what i mean. i love college.

art imitates life

You may have seen commercials for the New Jetta--you know, the one where a young couple is dancing around their apartment to some song by Kings of Leon when their crochety and elderly downstairs neighbor, irked by the noise, comes upstairs and tells them to stop. The commercial then cuts to the couple driving around in their dark gray New Jetta, blasting loud music to their hearts' content.

So my noisy upstairs neighbor drives a dark gray New Jetta. Does that make me the old man?

EDIT: Ok, just found the commercial online and it's not dark gray--it's silver. Eh. Close enough.

on schadenfreude

Kid upstairs is playing the music again. It's actually not that bothersome right now since I'm neither studying nor trying to sleep, but I went ahead and knocked on the apt. manager's door to see if he wanted to come over for "proof," so to speak. After all, I'm a law student, and ancient to boot. It's possible I'm just crochety.

He said he didn't even have to come over and hear for himself--he'd already gone over to give the kid a warning, and the kid obviously wasn't listening to him, so he was going to call the parents tomorrow morning and let them know that if the kid doesn't watch it, he'll get evicted AND they'll be liable for his entire year's rent.

Muahahaha. Muahahahaha.

on human idiocy

This morning, about 4, I was awakened by the sound of something hitting the outside wall of my bedroom. In my stupor, I thought it was the paperboy, delivering papers by throwing them against my apartment. So I just stayed in bed, figuring he'd deliver his papers and drive on, leaving me to a dreamless slumber.

Alas! it was not to be. The sound continued, and finally I got up and opened the blinds, only to see--

MY ASSHOLE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR, OR HIS ASSHOLE FRIEND, THROWING BASEBALLS OR ROCKS (couldn't tell--I'm nearsighted) AT OUR WALL. Drunk, of course. It took him a while to notice me standing there, my arms up in a "what the hell?!" position. I think I even yelled, "what the hell?!" but owing to physics and his inebriated state, I'm not entirely sure he heard me. He did stand there and laugh, though.

After about two minutes, a visual signal finally reached his pea-sized brain. It then took another minute or so for his brain to process that visual signal and its meaning, at which he finally slunk off to join his fellows under the nearest rock.