on human idiocy

This morning, about 4, I was awakened by the sound of something hitting the outside wall of my bedroom. In my stupor, I thought it was the paperboy, delivering papers by throwing them against my apartment. So I just stayed in bed, figuring he'd deliver his papers and drive on, leaving me to a dreamless slumber.

Alas! it was not to be. The sound continued, and finally I got up and opened the blinds, only to see--

MY ASSHOLE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR, OR HIS ASSHOLE FRIEND, THROWING BASEBALLS OR ROCKS (couldn't tell--I'm nearsighted) AT OUR WALL. Drunk, of course. It took him a while to notice me standing there, my arms up in a "what the hell?!" position. I think I even yelled, "what the hell?!" but owing to physics and his inebriated state, I'm not entirely sure he heard me. He did stand there and laugh, though.

After about two minutes, a visual signal finally reached his pea-sized brain. It then took another minute or so for his brain to process that visual signal and its meaning, at which he finally slunk off to join his fellows under the nearest rock.