the idiocy continues

Those crazy Christians! They sure hold to what they believe!

I sometimes feel like I'm part of this huge extended family (the Smiths)--and for the most part, we're good people, and smart people, but there's this one crazy drunken uncle (let's call him Bob), and he's always going and embarrassing us in public. So whenever people see us, they're like, "Hey! You're from the Smith family, right? You'll never believe what your Crazy Uncle Bob did on Saturday night!" And it becomes all about Crazy Uncle Bob and his crazy uncle antics, despite the fact that said crazy uncle antics aren't actually representative of the Smith family or most of its members.

Anyway. More power to you, AFA and Pro-Life Action League. Way to "be on point!" Way to "stick to the message!" I hope you're pleased with yourselves. Wait. Of course you are. That's why you do what you do.

on squalor

As I look around my apartment, at the dirty dishes piled in the sink, the empty water bottles I've yet to discard, the random items of food (bag of trail mix on the coffee table, half-eaten Odwalla Bar on my desk), the dirty socks, the clothing strewn over my couch, it occurs to me: I'm turning into a guy.

happy

It has come to my attention that nearly all my posts have an angry tone, or at the least, a mildly irritated one. I wish to assure you, dear reader, that in reality, I'm actually all sunshine and roses. I just never have cause to write about the sunshiny things. Besides, happiness has less entertainment value.

But, in an effort to present a more fair and balanced view of my personality, some things I love, without irony:

Wallaby vanilla yogurt. This stuff is seriously the best yogurt ever. While other vanilla yogurts are often gelatinous, slightly sour, and completely un-vanilla-like, Wallaby actually tastes like vanilla and has the texture of English clotted cream (sounds disgusting but is quite scrumptious). I could eat it three meals a day if that whole malnutrition thing weren't an issue. If you're not yet convinced, I wasn't even a big yogurt fan before. (It's like guys. They always say they're afraid of commitment, but they aren't. They're just afraid of commitment to the wrong girl. Similarly, I always said I didn't like yogurt, but that wasn't true--I just hadn't found the right one yet. But I have now! *bats eyelashes*)

Patty Griffin, Madeleine Peyroux, and Wilco. If some thief were to steal my entire CD collection and inexplicably leave only the albums of these three artists, I would be okay with that. Well, not okay, but there would be slightly less angry screaming involved.

My car. It's so cute. I'm also glad I got one before they redesigned it to look like the love child of an Audi and a Corolla. (Audis and Corollas independently? Cute. Together? Meh.)

The Combination breakfast at Red River Cafe. Mmmm...pancakes.

Bacon.

Pom pomegranate juice. So tasty. So good for you. Ounce for ounce, almost as expensive as a bottle of chardonnay (the cheap stuff, but still.).

The contents of this list will probably do more to convince people that I'm a Central Market whore and less to convince them that I'm actually a well-adjusted person, but, eh. I likes what I likes.

grouchy

Smoke alarm count: 3. I just cook with my front door open now.

Next semester's schedule:
Crim Law: 8:30-9:30 Tues-Fri
Property: 10:30-11:30 Mon-Thurs
Con Law I: 3:30-4:30 Mon-Wed
Legal Research and Writing: Thurs 11:30-12:30, Fri 10:30-11:30
Elective TBD

Having class at 8:30 nearly every day? Fine. Going until 4:30? Fine. Having classes on Friday? Fine. All three together in one schedule? Idiotic.

they've taken over my mind

I was at Momoko today. They've got a sign that says "If you break anything, you will have to pay full retail price for it." Immediately I thought, "wait, wouldn't that put the seller in a better post-contract position?" Because if you break it, and pay full retail price, then the seller gets damages (price he paid for the item) plus net profits (markup), so he gets a profit even though he hasn't really sold anything--so if he buys a replacement and sells it, he has two profits for selling one item. Then of course I realized that was stupid, since it isn't like he could sell the broken one, so seller should get the benefit of his bargain and expectancy damages and all that. Then I wondered if that was even an enforceable contract, or if it was more of a quasi-contract, because you can't recover on expectancy in a quasi-contract. And then I realized I need to get out more.

on minutiae

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook?

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook, that isn't for a grade?

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook, that isn't for a grade, for a one-hour class?

And did I do all that at the expense of reading for another class in which (I've heard) an 8 on the final is passing?

Gack.

we're not all like this.

Let me state up front that I'm a Christian. I believe that God created the world and everything in it. I also believe that we're all sinners and that Jesus died to save us from those sins.

That said, who the hell are these people and why have they co-opted my religion???

I understand it's AFA's prerogative to boycott whatever they choose for whatever reason they want. That's fine.* What cheeses me off is that, contrary to what the right-wing wants you to believe, Christianity isn't about overturning Roe v. Wade. And it's not about making sure a gay couple you've never met, and will most likely never meet, can't get a civil union.

It's easy to say, "those horrible girls who get abortions, and their poor fetuses, I'd never do that," because abortion is (thankfully) not something most of us encounter with any sort of frequency. It's easy to say, "I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and I'm going to vote to amend the Constitution to keep it that way," because, well, if you're voting for it, I'd say there's a fairly good chance you're heterosexual and will thus never feel the effects of the amendment you're voting for. (Handy, huh?)

My knowledge of the Bible isn't nearly as exhaustive as it should be, but I seem to remember a couple of verses here and there about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. Maybe a couple of verses about defending the fatherless and pleading the case of the widow? It's our duty as Christians to do these things. And there are many Christian organizations that have taken up the mantle. But the single-minded focus on "moral issues" have made it so that now, when people hear about Christians, they don't think about the Foundation for the Homeless or International Justice Mission, or any other of a number of Christian organizations that have taken Micah 6:8 to heart.** All they see is a group of self-righteous, self-interested, self-aggrandizing blowhards who are more concerned with pointing out other people's sins than they are with their own. And we're not all like that. I know we aren't.

I want my religion back.


*Heck, it's probably a good financial decision, because those dolls--and all their attendant accessories--are pricey (yes, I have one and yes, I was a little princess) .
** "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8, NIV

celebrity

Yesterday my civ pro professor took a few of us out to lunch. Our waiter was the guy in the Whataburger commercial! You know, the one who "out-Whataburgers" his friend??

Okay well, I thought it was cool.

on context

In contracts today:

Prof. R: Is that a valid liquidated damages clause, if the parties knew or suspected that the damages would be much more? Is it a valid clause? Yes or no?

random classmate: No, because I'd say that's unconscionable.

Prof. R: Unconscionable. Hmm. I don't even know what the hell that means.

fan letter

Dear Michael Schur,

I read the article about your exploits regarding Hurricane Katrina and the driver of a certain Saab in The New Yorker today. I was especially impressed by this clause:

"Schur went to meet some friends, who agreed that a creased bumper, when measured against a calamity like Katrina, was trivial indeed..."

I'm glad you're using your Harvard education to such great effect, Mr. Schur. Have you and your friends also decided that water is wet, or are you saving that for next week?

Also impressive was the logical progression you used to get from "a damaged car is trivial compared to Katrina" to "I damaged that car but Katrina is bad, so I shouldn't have to pay for the damage I caused, and Saab Guy is a jerk for thinking I should pay, because think of the starving children and boo hoo!" There really are no words to describe the masterful way in which you turned your focus onto something completely irrelevant. I'm in awe. Maybe someday I'll be as smart as you.

I must fly, but one last thing. Making donations to the Red Cross Katrina fund under the name "Saab Guy Is an Asshole"? HI-larious! And so classy.

Kisses,
SP

p.s. I'm allowed to rear-end your car without consequence now, right? Because, Darfur? Rwanda? The Holocaust? Human behavior from pretty much the dawn of time? All terrible. So you shouldn't worry about the fact that I just put a dent in the bumper of your Acura TL. It's trivial. You said so yourself.

on ill-temper

I've been feeling rather misanthropic lately. If I were of a more sanguine temperament, I'd say it was my new, improved, take-no-sh*t persona emerging. But it's more likely that I've just become a peevish old woman way before my time.

N.S.: my apartment is clean for the first time in a month. It's nice. I even took out the trash.

lost and found

Went to hear the Spazmatics tonight at Cedar Street. It was fun until about 1:30 a.m., when SR got thrown out for "moshing." BC then tried to defend him, but only got thrown out alongside SR for his trouble. In the ensuing confusion, our group got split up. I'd only had one drink, about 10ish, then two glasses of water, so I drove CR's car. It's official, people. I've driven a Suburban. Anyway, we get to the exit of the parking garage and CAN'T FIND THE STINKIN' PARKING TICKET, since EU drove us there and we couldn't find him to ask where it was. The attendant was unsympathetic to our plight, and charged us the full $15, despite the fact that we'd already paid our $4 to park there in the first place.

When we got back to CR's house, guess what I found, stuck in the instrument panel? Yup. Grrr. I wonder if they'd refund the money if I went back tomorrow.

And now for a shower, because I am seriously gross.

on fidelity

"See, baby? I gots men men men serenading me, but I'm waiting for you!" (Photo and caption by LH)

bad metaphor, just for you

Chris Martin, on Radiohead: "We're like an eager dog just yapping around their heels, and they're trying to kick us away...It's like unrequited love. I'm in love with a lot of things. Some of those things love me back. And some of them don't—and one of them is Radiohead."*

Had our first IM soccer game tonight. We got lit up 6-1. Our illustrious captain--who was responsible for putting us in the A league in the first place--did not attend. And I think I re-injured my ankle. Still, I had fun. Even though I'm really not that good at soccer. Because soccer RULES! *grunt*

*http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8018845/site/newsweek (near the bottom. I'm not a huge Coldplay fan, but I think I love Chris Martin a little for that line.)