there's a reason I'm not going to be an IP lawyer

Can someone please explain to me why the formatting of my blog has suddenly gotten all wacky? I didn't do anything to the template--in fact, I try NOT to mess with all that because I'm sure I'll inadvertently change some line of code which happens to control the weather in Guam or the foreign policy of the United States. (You know, like that Nationwide Insurance commercial where the guy keeps flipping a light switch which appears not to be connected to anything but is in fact wired to his middle-aged neighbor's garage door opener.)

Anyway, all I know is I posted about the guy who bit the panda* and now the lines don't line up and the links are inexplicably at the bottom of the page. Can someone tell me how to fix this? My inner obsessive-compulsive is greatly disturbed.

*PETA, is that you? Look, a man biting a panda is funny. And clearly, the panda won.

Man Bites Panda

Mmmm...tasty.

I've never been so proud to be Asian.

(Note that he did this after drinking four pitchers of beer. Who says we can't hold our alcohol?)

people = assholes

Dear idiots who are playing a live concert in the backyard of the house across the street:

Some advice. From what I've heard so far, I assume you are playing here because you couldn't get a real gig on 6th street. It is true some excellent bands toil in obscurity their entire existences. Don't delude yourselves. You aren't one of them. Quit now. Sell your instruments, preferably with some sort of agreement never to play again. And remember: groupies may come and go, but herpes, like diamonds, are forever.

But you--being self-absorbed and delusional--probably won't heed my oh-so-sage words of wisdom, so I'll just have to hope the police give you tickets for 1) violating the noise ordinance and 2) believing power chords and guitar feedback are the best way to end every song in your "repertoire."

Oh. And your bassist = sucks. More than the rest of you, from what I can tell.

XOXO,
SP