people = assholes

Dear idiots who are playing a live concert in the backyard of the house across the street:

Some advice. From what I've heard so far, I assume you are playing here because you couldn't get a real gig on 6th street. It is true some excellent bands toil in obscurity their entire existences. Don't delude yourselves. You aren't one of them. Quit now. Sell your instruments, preferably with some sort of agreement never to play again. And remember: groupies may come and go, but herpes, like diamonds, are forever.

But you--being self-absorbed and delusional--probably won't heed my oh-so-sage words of wisdom, so I'll just have to hope the police give you tickets for 1) violating the noise ordinance and 2) believing power chords and guitar feedback are the best way to end every song in your "repertoire."

Oh. And your bassist = sucks. More than the rest of you, from what I can tell.

XOXO,
SP