on being a geek

While playing Mario Kart: Double Dash on GameCube with my brother:

C: Have you ever wondered why Yoshi doesn't fall off the back of the kart?

Me: What do you mean, fall off?

C: Well like--during the victory lap, he jumps up and down on the back of the kart, and he isn't holding onto anything. Wouldn't he just fly off when he jumped up?

Me: I don't think so...I mean, he's not actually jumping straight up and down. He's moving at the same speed as the kart. You know, like if you're standing inside a moving bus, and you toss a tennis ball in the air, to you it looks straight up and down, but to an observer standing outside the bus, it isn't. It's parabolic.

C: Yeah, but a bus is enclosed. But what about wind resistance? Like if you're in a convertible and you toss a tennis ball in the air, it doesn't come back down. It flies off behind the car.

Me: Well, right, but Yoshi's obviously heavier than a tennis ball.

C: I dunno. I still think it's weird that he doesn't fall off.

Me: (picking up the phone) I'm calling K.

C: Seriously, don't do that.

Me: Why not?

C: Because it's Mario Kart.

Me: Too late. (dialing)

C: Geez.

K: (groggily) hello?

Me: Did I wake you?

K: Yes.

Me: Oh. Sorry. Umm...I have a physics question for you.

K: Ok...?

Me: C and I are playing Mario Kart, and we want to know why Yoshi doesn't fly off the back of the kart when he jumps up and down on it during the victory lap.

K: (long pause) Well, he doesn't fly off because he's moving at the same speed as the kart.

Me: (to C) See? See??

C: Yeah yeah, ask him about wind resistance.

Me: What about wind resistance? Like if you have a tennis ball in a convertible...

K: Then it depends on how fast you're going. I don't think drag or whatever is a linear equation.

Me: But it's a victory lap. They're not going that fast.

K: Well, there you go. If you want to test it, you can dress C up like Yoshi and tell him to jump up and down on the back of your car while you drive slowly around your neighborhood.

Me: Hmm, there's an idea. C--

C: No.

Me: Damn.