ahh! writer's block!

the "christians" are at it again!

2007-10-05T15:59:00.000-05:00

The president of Oral Roberts University is apparently being investigated for financial misconduct. Among the allegations: his wife spent $39,000.00 of university money at Chico's in a year. Seriously, Chico's? At least buy some hot Louboutins with your ill-gotten gains.

2007-10-02T23:19:00.001-05:00

Whoever said 3L year is a magical time of unbridled drunkenness is a dirty rotten liar.

I don't think Colt should've been cleared to play on Saturday. Are they trying to kill that boy? Angry Sooners + concussion + inexperienced and ineffective offensive line = disaster.

They're not offering Secured Credit next semester. Fabulous. Passing the bar on the first try is for gunners anyway.

just call me perez

2007-09-12T19:06:00.000-05:00

Saw Scott Porter at Target last week. I didn't say anything to him because I didn't want to be "that" girl. A guy should be able to buy Doritos and Dr. Pepper in peace. Besides, what would I have said?

Whoa, you can walk?
You're hot.
I HATE LAW SCHOOL TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING
So, how 'bout them Huskers?
Mmmmm...chips.
You shop at Target? I shop at Target! Let's be friends!

I think it was best for all parties concerned that I just stared awkwardly instead.

chopin she ain't

2007-08-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

My upstairs neighbor (not the crackhead) just got a keyboard. Unfortunately, she only knows how to play "Chopsticks." And there really isn't any way to make "Chopsticks" sound less chopsticky. Even if you play it really really fast or really really slow or add one of those variations that requires four hands. It's still "Chopsticks." And everyone knows "chopsticks" is Chinese for "really damn annoying."

more ridiculosity

2007-07-27T21:39:00.002-05:00

Ridiculous conversation #4
SF: You know what I think would be really lucrative? A train link between Dallas and Houston.
Me: ...wait, are you kidding?
SF: What, you don't think it would make money?
Me: Well, sort of...I think Amtrak already has a Dallas-Houston route, but I don't think it does so well.
SF: Wait, Amtrak carries passengers?
Me: (staring)
SF: No, really, it carries passengers?
Me: Yeeess....
SF: Wow, I totally didn't know that. I mean, I knew they were a train company. I just didn't know they carried people. I thought they just carried cargo.
Me: Soo...when you read news stories about an Amtrak train derailing and it talks about "casualties," what did you think that meant?
SF: I dunno, luggage?

Ridiculous conversation #5
SF: Hey S, how much is tuition every semester?
Me: Probably about $8500, since I take out a $10000 loan every semester and usually have $1500 left after tuition is paid.
SF: Huh. That doesn't leave much for living expenses.
Me: No, it doesn't.
SF: So what do people do?
Me: I dunno, take out private loans, work at a big firm, get help from their parents...
SF: I see.
Me: Wait, we're about to start our 3rd year of law school and you're just now wondering how much tuition is?
SF: Well, I was thinking about the living expenses and I just couldn't figure out where my money was coming from.
Me: Well, that's a nice problem to have.
SF: No, really...clearly I'm spending more than $1500 on living expenses a semester, but I haven't taken out private loans or anything, so I don't know how I'm doing it.
Me: ....
--30 minutes later--
SF: Oh wait! I know where the money's coming from. I have a scholarship.

Huh?

2007-07-26T21:08:00.001-05:00

Some people are so spacey that you wonder how they made it to adulthood without losing life or limb to some bizarre accident brought on by their own absent-mindedness/lack of common sense.*

Ridiculous conversation #1
Spacey friend: How's this for a quote? "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king."
Me: What's a one-eyed man doing in the land of the blind? He can still see.
SF: Well, how about this? "In the land of the mostly blind, the one-eyed man is king."
Me: But if they're only mostly blind, then there might be other one-eyed men, which would erase the advantage held by the one-eyed man in your original quote.
SF: Oh. Hmm.

Ridiculous conversation #2
Co-worker: (leaving the office) Have fun playing poker. (To another coworker) Don't let him call just so he can see what cards other people have.
Me: (to SF) You call just to see what other people have?
SF: Yeah. (Shrugs)
Me: Why?
SF: I dunno, I'm just curious.
Me: Curiosity killed the cat.
SF: What does that mean?
Me: It's an expression...you know, like if you're too curious...never mind. Do you call to see what people have so you can see if they have tells?
SF: Nope, I just want to see what they have.
Me: Er. Don't you want to at least try and win?
SF: It's like a $2 buy-in. I'd rather know what people have.
Me: But you don't gain anything from knowing what they....oh, forget it.

Ridiculous Conversation #3
Me: (looking at a Google map) Hey, SF, you're from Houston right?
SF: Yeah.
Me: Can you explain why Google's telling me to take this route back to my apartment, but in the morning when I drive here, it just tells me to take this route? Couldn't I just take 288 south all the way back? Is there some wacky reason I have to go home a different way than I came?
SF: I dunno. Maybe the Loop only goes in one direction?
Me: Maybe...wait, what? Highways don't just go in one direction.
SF: (Shrugs)
Me: Riiight...

*Like the lady who set her apartment building on fire trying to light a candle. She was out of matches, so she used the stove to light a towel on fire, carried the flaming towel to her bedroom, and attempted to light a candle which was sitting on her bed. I mean, I guess she succeeded in lighting that candle...

deep thoughts

2007-06-06T21:16:00.000-05:00

Questions I ponder on my way to work:
1. Why do motorcycles qualify for the HOV lane?
2. If 610 is a loop, why is it still an interstate? Doesn't being a loop kind of make you entirely intrastate?
3. Why does Houston like to merge two freeways of 2 lanes each into one freeway of 3 lanes without any warning to the people in the two innermost lanes? It's almost--though not quite--scarier than the infamous I-35 onramps.
4. Why do people suck so much?

edited to fix link

on being the scum of the earth

2007-05-31T19:16:00.000-05:00

Turns out the guy that flew to Europe--despite being warned he had a drug-resistant strain of tuberculosis and shouldn't travel--is a lawyer. Nice.

Why are lawyers always in the news for being jackasses? Is it just that I notice the jackassery of lawyers more than I do general jackassery? Or is it that the incidence of jackassery in the legal population really is higher than it is in the population at large? For instance, the infamous auto admit incident. You don't hear about stuff like that happening in med school.

I like law school (the people, not so much the classes). Yes, there are some jerks, but I haven't met anyone I'd think capable of the newsmaking jackassery mentioned above. I can't decide if lawyers start out as nice people who turn into jackasses to deal with the soul-sucking competitiveness of law school and the legal profession, or if it's just that the legal profession attracts jackasses. I'll let you know in a few years.

Blue October is the worst band ever.

2007-04-26T15:14:00.000-05:00

Blue October was on Conan last night.* I was flipping channels and didn't catch the part where Conan announces the group name, so at first I didn't know who it was. Also, I'd never heard the song or seen the band before. About 15 seconds in, I thought, "wow, this band is really awful." Then I realized the awfulness had a familiar quality to it. Lyrics that sound as if they'd been written by an emo 15-year-old who believes "nobody understands him" because he is "wise" and "poetic" and an "old soul"? A chorus that uses a progression of maybe three notes (repeat 4x)? Use of the harmonic fifth by the background vocalist? Whiny, nasal delivery by lead singer, complete with poseur-riffic head twitching (because he's feeling. the. MUSIC.)?

Sure enough, it was them. I don't know why I felt vindicated, but I did.

*I know I said in a previous post that I don't have time to watch Conan anymore, but impending failure and doom will make you do crazy things like watch TV when you ought to be studying instead.

AUSTIN SHOE HOSPITAL SUCKS

2007-04-09T21:49:00.000-05:00

The one on Windsor and Exposition, that is. Took a bag in to get the strap shortened and this is what I got:

No, I didn't pay for the "repair," but neither was I compensated for the diminution in value of the bag or the cost of restoring it. Jerks. I want the benefit of my bargain, dammit.

On being pandered to

2007-03-25T22:46:00.000-05:00

I really hate that Hummer commercial where the guy is like, "I customized my Hummer so that it can drive underwater!" (I hate all Hummer commercials, but this one particularly irks me.) As he drives off the pier and into the water, the words "Do not attempt" appear at the bottom of the screen. Really? Is that really necessary?* If you're stupid enough to drive your Hummer off a pier and think it will do anything but sink straight to the bottom of the ocean, you deserve what you get.

Peyton Manning, however, can make as many commercials as he wants. Yes, his audibling is a little spastic (it doesn't bother me but K finds it incredibly annoying), but the man is hilarious. During last night's SNL, I laughed so hard I cried. And it's not just because I'm easy that way.

*I mean, okay, legally speaking it's probably necessary because there's some meathead out there who would actually try this stunt and then sue the manufacturer (or his survivors would sue the manufacturer, since he would probably drown. Yay for natural selection.)Conntributory negligence would probably sink the case, though, so I don't know what Hummer's so worried about.

on dying friendless and alone

2007-02-17T20:55:00.000-06:00

This is my worst fear.

I can't help but wonder though--how was the TV still on? Who was paying the electric bill?

random

2007-02-08T00:21:00.000-06:00

At last, an alarm clock for compulsive snoozers like me. (I wonder how much time I've lost to the snooze button over the course of my lifetime. Probably a lot.)

Apparently a duck's quack doesn't echo...and nobody knows why.

They say in law school, your first year they scare you to death, your second year they work you to death, and your third year they bore you to death. So far this appears to be true. I don't even have time to watch Conan anymore. It's a tough life I lead....

on returning from the motherland

2007-01-11T23:06:00.000-06:00

I slept until 2:30 p.m. today. None of my family woke me up (or came in to make sure I was still breathing) because they figured I was jetlagged and only sleeping that late because I'd had trouble falling asleep the night before. They assumed wrong though--I went to bed at 12:30 a.m. and slept like a baby until 10:00 a.m., when I woke up, rolled over, and went back to sleep. I didn't think I was even capable of sleeping for 14 hours. Now I've got one of those too-much sleep headaches, but what can I say? I'm a big advocate of pushing the limits of my endurance.

After I woke up, I did one load of laundry, ate a cinnamon roll, and proceeded to watch TV for three hours. I'm really not looking forward to school starting. Responsibility, pffft.

I always figured I got my unusually short stature from my dad's side (I tower over some of his sisters and was a good bit taller than my late grandmother), but I found out from a cousin that one of my great-grandmothers on my mom's side was unusually short, even by early 20th century Asian standards. So apparently I am a purebred shrimp. Let's hope for my kids' sake that it's recessive.

In other maternal ancestor news, one of my great-grandfathers (husband of the aforementioned really short great-grandmother), when given the choice between starting a soy sauce company or a liquor company, chose the liquor. Excellent.

on fear

2006-12-23T20:11:00.000-06:00

I finally saw Carrie today. Holy crap, the ending? I knew it was a dream and I still screamed like a little girl.

on perspective

2006-12-17T14:30:00.000-06:00

A few days ago, while studying Federal Income Tax at a coffee shop with CR:

Me: You know, on my way here, I actually thought "Hey, if I get in a bad enough car wreck, I won't have to take the FIT final." Is that bad?

CR: I don't know. The other night I had this dream that I was being held up at gunpoint, and the guy was like "Give me your laptop or I'll kill you." And I was like, "No, you can't have it, it's got my notes and my outline on it." And he was like, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?? I HAVE A FREAKING GUN AND I WILL SHOOT YOU." And I was like, "well, see, if I give you my laptop, you'll have my notes but I'll still have to take the final, and I'll be screwed. But if you shoot me and I die, I won't have my notes, but I won't have to take the final either."

Me: Hmm, you win.

Law School = The Grinch that Stole Christmas

2006-12-08T12:25:00.000-06:00

I'm at a coffee shop writing a paper. It's about the economic inefficiency of predatory mortgage lending. Too bad I don't know anything about economics or finance.

Anyway, they're playing Christmas music over the speakers. I actually love Christmas music, but it makes me a little sad to hear it now, because it reminds me that I'm stuck studying for finals that will inevitably kick my butt. There's nothing like law school to suck the joy out of the holiday season; Thanksgiving is spent outlining, when really it should be spent getting fat and watching football. And since for some reason law school finals always end really late (last year our last final was a 24-hour take-home final, due on Dec. 23, and this year my last paper is due Dec. 22. Yay! Hopefully I won't get the flu again this year), the run-up to Christmas, which should be spent shopping for gifts and decorating Christmas trees and drinking hot chocolate on the couch while watching Monty Python (ok, that has nothing to do with Christmas but I like Monty Python), is instead spent in a desperate, coffee-and-panic-fueled bid to fend off failure.

At least there are peppermint mochas. Those are festive.

in other disastrous kitchen news...

2006-11-15T23:34:00.000-06:00

Last week:

(Cell phone rings, I pick it up; it's my brother)
Me: Hello?
C: Hey, where are you?
Me: I'm at K's, why?
C: Oh...nothing. Do we have a broom?
Me: Um...yes...it's by the trash can in the kitchen.
C: Oh, ok, good.
Me: What...happened?
C: Well, the light fixture in the kitchen fell and smashed all over the floor.
Me: Um, were you swinging on it?
C: (exasperated) No, I was sitting in my room studying, when I heard this ginormous crash and was like "HOLY CRAP SOMEONE BROKE IN!" But it was just the kitchen light falling and breaking.
Me: By itself? Weird.
C: Yup.

Today:

Maintenance guy: Ok, I put bleach in the dishwasher to help clear the clog. Give it a few minutes and then run some water through it, and if it still drains really slowly call me back.
Me: Ok.

[I turn the dishwasher onto "Water Saver" cycle and leave it to play Mario Kart.]

[Sitting on the couch, from which I can see partly into the kitchen]

Me (thinking): Gosh, the floor under the kitchen table is awfully shiny.

Me (10 minutes later): Why is the bleach smell getting stronger?

Me (12 minutes later, as I walk into the kitchen and into a puddle of water and bleach, noticing the orange tinge of the carpet where it meets aforementioned puddle) Well, crap.

It was brand new carpet too. Sigh.

on genetics

2006-10-26T18:38:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, at the UT Law mentors reception:

Me (to Attorney 1): So what sort of practice do you do?
Atty 1: Mostly I do trial law, plaintiffs, stuff like that.
Me: Hey, so does my dad, do you know him? FP?
Atty 1: You're FP's daughter?? Of course I know him, we go way back! I didn't know he had a grown daughter!
Me: Yup, that's me.
Atty 1: Well, you're much better looking than he is.
Me: Thanks..?

Later:

(Similar conversation with Attorney 2 about practice areas and my dad)
Atty 2: I know your dad--I worked with BG quite a bit when your dad worked for him.
Me: Oh, really?
Atty 2: Yes. You know, that explains why you're so short.
Me: It sure does...

on love

2006-10-21T01:37:00.000-05:00

Conversation with the boy:

Me: Yeah, so if I were a fruit, I'd be a pineapple. Spiky on the outside, sweet on the inside.
K: You aren't sweet on the inside.
Me: I am, too.
K: No, you're a little ball of hate.
Me: Well, fine, I mean, pineapples aren't sweet sweet...they're a little sour. I'm sweet with a kick. What do you think?
K: I think your metaphor sucks.

there's a reason I'm not going to be an IP lawyer

2006-09-24T23:10:00.000-05:00

Can someone please explain to me why the formatting of my blog has suddenly gotten all wacky? I didn't do anything to the template--in fact, I try NOT to mess with all that because I'm sure I'll inadvertently change some line of code which happens to control the weather in Guam or the foreign policy of the United States. (You know, like that Nationwide Insurance commercial where the guy keeps flipping a light switch which appears not to be connected to anything but is in fact wired to his middle-aged neighbor's garage door opener.)

Anyway, all I know is I posted about the guy who bit the panda* and now the lines don't line up and the links are inexplicably at the bottom of the page. Can someone tell me how to fix this? My inner obsessive-compulsive is greatly disturbed.

*PETA, is that you? Look, a man biting a panda is funny. And clearly, the panda won.

Man Bites Panda

2006-09-20T14:16:00.000-05:00

Mmmm...tasty.

I've never been so proud to be Asian.

(Note that he did this after drinking four pitchers of beer. Who says we can't hold our alcohol?)

people = assholes

2006-09-17T01:26:00.000-05:00

Dear idiots who are playing a live concert in the backyard of the house across the street:

Some advice. From what I've heard so far, I assume you are playing here because you couldn't get a real gig on 6th street. It is true some excellent bands toil in obscurity their entire existences. Don't delude yourselves. You aren't one of them. Quit now. Sell your instruments, preferably with some sort of agreement never to play again. And remember: groupies may come and go, but herpes, like diamonds, are forever.

But you--being self-absorbed and delusional--probably won't heed my oh-so-sage words of wisdom, so I'll just have to hope the police give you tickets for 1) violating the noise ordinance and 2) believing power chords and guitar feedback are the best way to end every song in your "repertoire."

Oh. And your bassist = sucks. More than the rest of you, from what I can tell.

XOXO,
SP

maybe i'll have a cool scar now

2006-07-14T21:32:00.000-05:00

I sliced my right-hand index finger open yesterday while putting away some dishes. I'd taken 3 glasses out of the dishwasher and stacked them on the counter (for you efficiency stickler people, the cabinet is directly above the dishwasher, so no, I can't put them directly from the dishwasher into the cabinet because I can't reach the cabinet when the dishwasher's open). The counter was crowded with dirty dishes, so I put the stack on the corner of the counter while I closed the dishwasher door. I remember thinking, "Huh...that stack looks kind of precarious perched on the corner like that." (So it's not as if I lack common sense. I just choose to ignore it.*)

Anyway, as I lifted the stack of glasses it toppled over and bounced off the counter before shattering all over my kitchen floor. To be more precise, it was only the top two glasses in the stack, and they probably shattered when they hit the counter. I know this because I made a futile grab for them as they fell, and the next thing I knew, there was blood pouring out of my finger.

This had happened to a friend in Scotland, and our med student flatmates told her to hold her hand above her heart and put a towel on it to stop the bleeding. So I did that, bandaged it up and went to class. Got some funny looks for the hand-above-the-heart thing. It was okay until I came home and was sweeping up the glass, and then it started bleeding profusely again. I briefly considered driving myself to the ER before deciding 1) it wasn't that serious; 2) I don't like needles; 3) I didn't want to die of one of those antibiotic-resistant megainfections you get in the hospital (you know, the ones they talk about on 48 Hours); 4) I didn't want to get blood all over the inside of my car.

Eventually I went to an Eastern medicine doc (a friend of my parents) who gave me this miraculous powdery clotting stuff he'd given my little brother 15 years ago when he sliced his finger open on a can of grass jelly.

I'm not really sure what the point of this story was, but it took me forever to type. Who knew h, j, n, y, m, and u occurred as frequently as they do?

*Stolen from one of the greatest comic strips ever.

Just say no

2006-06-24T18:24:00.001-05:00

Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Don't do drugs.

2006-06-16T23:11:00.000-05:00

I decided to conduct an experiment of sorts and go without internet and tv for the summer. So far I've noticed a definite uptick in productivity.

Unfortunately for aforementioned productivity, I'm home for the weekend and my parents have internet and cable, so of course I got nothing done today. No, wait, I take that back. I did three loads of laundry. I also learned that 1) Oriental Beauty is a black tea from the Hakka region of Taiwan, 2) a woolly mammoth femur is fifteen times the size of a human femur, 3) "routemaster" is another word for a London double-decker bus, and 4) Rachael Ray has the best job in the world. I need to drop out of school and become her protege.

ahhh...vacation.

2006-05-24T14:19:00.000-05:00

Went to see SOUND Team last night. Excellent as always. I am anxiously awaiting the release of the full-length CD so I can listen to it over and over and over and over and over and over.... (I would've just said ad nauseam, but...I don't get tired of their music. As evidenced by the fact that I listened to the 4-song EP for two weeks straight in my car.)

Less excellent? Elefant, the band they opened for. I'd googled Elefant before the show and listened to some mp3s on their website, and from a casual listen I thought they'd be good. Granted, I was listening while laughing my head off at Letterman chomping on a stick of butter as Martha Stewart made a meat cake (yes, really), so perhaps my perception of Elefant's quality was skewed. Because they weren't so great. I am not so sure why, because the elements seemed to be there (except for some crappy lyrics, of which Lan has already spoken); most of the songs were melodic and catchy, which I generally love. The set just seemed flat, as if the band was bored--but I don't think they were. Anyway, I wanted to like them, but...eh. Maybe they're just not good live.

Unrelated: I want my own life-sized hamster cage.

my wacky unconscious

2006-05-17T00:51:00.000-05:00

The night before my Con Law final, I dreamed some of the Supreme Court justices showed up at my apartment and told me I had to move.

"But my lease isn't up yet. I don't have to move until Friday."

"We're the Supreme Court. You'll move when we say to move."

And then Scalia chased me around my apartment while the other justices just stood around in their robes, amused.

In honor of finals...

2006-04-26T22:38:00.000-05:00

...some words describing how I feel right now. (But way funnier.)

on the blindingly obvious

2006-04-12T23:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday in Con Law:

Prof. B: So let's say Capital Metro has a policy of not hiring people who are shorter than 5'7" because according to a study they've commissioned, people 5'7" and over are safer drivers. Your client is 5'6" and wants to challenge the policy. What would you do?

Classmate: Well, first, I'd commission more studies--

Prof. B: Well, ok...I mean, you can commission as many studies as you want, but that doesn't mean they're necessary. I read about this study once where the researchers discovered that male monkeys feel pain when their testicles are crushed. It's kind of like, "Duh! I could've told you that!"

on prescience

2006-04-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

Scene 1. DAY. A classroom at the Law School right before class starts. STUDENTS are milling about, settling into their seats, taking out their laptops and pocket Constitutions. S walks in and goes to her desk, placing her backpack on the table.

B: Yarrrrrrrrrr!!! (Runs by and grabs backpack from S. It is a running joke that he steals something from her desk every time he passes by.)

S: That's it! I'm throwing down the gauntlet!

B: Whatever, would that gauntlet be like...this big? (Holds up hands about three inches apart.)

S: (In a British accent) I'll bite yer legs off!

(B, having gone to his desk, does not hear, but Prof. B does. He turns around and gives S a strange look.)

S's NEIGHBOR: We are totally getting called on.

Scene 2: 20 MINUTES LATER

S: (on IM) C. I really have to pee.

C: (on IM) You better get up and go now, before he looks up and calls on you.

S: (on IM) Yeah, I think I will--

Prof. B: (looks down at the seating chart on the podium, then back up.) Miss...P?

S: (inwardly) #@!(*^%!$!)$">#@!(*^%!$!)$(*@!

(Fade to black.)

NARRATOR: Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Don't quote Monty Python in class.

best sports injury ever

2006-03-27T20:45:00.000-06:00

In another example of why I really shouldn't be allowed to do even mildly athletic things, I sprained my thumb playing wiffleball on Friday. I'm not sure how it happened; I think it probably had something to do with the time I slid into first and landed on my hand. (And yes, I know you aren't supposed to slide into first. But I was safe, so there.)

disgruntled

2006-03-22T16:49:00.000-06:00

It's a little demoralizing to read this article when one is 1) a female 2) in the middle of writing a final brief 3) for a law school class. What's the point? Clearly I should be married and popping out babies by now.

Side note: Asshole Upstairs is being evicted. (I think the final straw was his refusal to let the landlord in so the landlord could figure out why there was water pouring out of my ceiling.) So long, Asshole Upstairs. I hope they slap you with thousands of dollars in attorneys' fees. And maybe additional monetary sanctions for being a Grade A douchebag.

greetings from the frozen north

2006-03-14T10:40:00.000-06:00

I am in Michigan. It's snowing and the wind is howling. Really howling. Like "sounds like a freight train" howling.

Random occurrence of the day #1: Looked up one of the cases referenced in my Brief Writing packet (Scales v. U.S., 685 F.2d 970, if anyone cares) and saw my dad's name under "attorneys for plaintiff-appellee." Maybe I could ask to be recused from writing my brief due to a conflict of interest.

Random occurrence of the day #2: Was at Dominick's, which AH had recommended. It was quite tasty. Thanks Bundrew! Anyway, as we stood in line, I looked behind me and saw a girl and guy that looked really familiar, but I didn't say anything because that happens to me all the time. But then I glanced back again and the girl was like, "wait, do I know you?" and I said "I feel like I've seen you before," and she said, "are you from Austin?" and I said "why yes, I am!" and then we realized we all used to live in the honors dorm at UT. What are the odds?

on defeat

2006-03-08T23:28:00.000-06:00

Bad week for mentor group athletics. Lost our first softball game Tuesday (I will not reprint the score because I don't want us to be mocked any more than we already have been--let me just say last night's performance WILL NOT BE REPEATED AND IT WAS A FLUKE WE JUST HAD A FEW ERRORS AND COULDN'T GET THE HITS GOING OKAY?!).

Then we lost our basketball playoff game tonight--to the same team we lost to in the flag football playoffs! rrrrarrrgggh!! I did, however, get a high-five and a slap on the rear from a guy on the other team after I grabbed a rebound.

EDIT: I just discovered another deep-purple bruise on my knee, which I must've gotten when I fell down in the baskeball game. But it's on the top part of my kneecap (like where your quads attach). Is that even physically possible?

you will buy this EP. because it's excellent.

2006-02-19T20:11:00.000-06:00

SOUND team's EP, Work, is available in stores now.

One of the stores? Best Buy! I find that inexplicably cool.

trouble in the workplace, SCOTUS-style

2006-02-17T15:09:00.000-06:00

Taken from Gonzales v. Raich:

Justice Scalia, concurring in the judgment.

"I agree with the Court's holding that the Controlled Substances Act (CSA) may validly be applied to respondents' cultivation, distribution and possession of marijuana for personal, medicinal use. I write separately because my understanding of the doctrinal foundation on which that holding rests is, if not inconsistent with that of the Court, at least more nuanced." (Emphasis added).

oh snap!

on being a shrimp

2006-02-16T13:57:00.000-06:00

Today, as I sat in my car waiting for the light to turn green, I noticed this billboard* and was amused.

*No, I wouldn't need a booster seat to ride in the backseat of my own car. I'm taller than that. Barely.

on basketball

2006-02-14T18:37:00.000-06:00

I'm playing IM basketball. I'm quite terrible. But some of the guys in my mentor group wanted to play, and we have a dearth of girls, so I volunteered, figuring I could just kind of stand around on the court and giggle, because that is completely my style. Anyway, last week was our first game. K flew down just for the occasion. Some highlights:

1) Me chasing a guy on a fast break, falling, and skidding spectacularly across the floor. (I'd accompany this with visuals, but I don't have a camera. Let me assure you the bruises/floor burn were impressive.)

2) Me getting called for traveling because the ball is heavy and when you throw it to me, I have to shuffle my feet to keep from falling over after I catch it. (It's tough weighing less than 100 lbs.)

After the game, K gave me a few helpful tips, namely: this isn't soccer, so don't run sideways when you're playing defense or you will eat it (see Highlight 1, above), and two, if you feel like you're being pushed when you've got the ball, fall down to keep from traveling.

I took his advice in last night's game. Our opponents threw a bad pass, which one of my teammates tipped toward the sideline. I scrambled over to the ball and threw myself on top of it fumble-recovery style, then curled into fetal position, clutching it tightly to my chest. A snippet of my conversation with K later that night:

me: So I took your advice and when I got the ball I fell down.
K: You fell down?
me: Yeah, isn't that what you told me to do?
K: Um...sort of...well, no, not really. I said to fall down if they were pushing you around. Were they pushing you around?
me: Well, no, but the ball was loose and I didn't think I could get to it if I didn't throw myself down on top of it.
(long pause)
K: You...threw yourself on top of it and then fell down?
me: Err. Yes.
K: Maybe you should stick to soccer.

Oh, and since it's Valentine's Day, I'll just say: V-Day sucks. But Target box wine is awesome.

On being Klassy

2006-02-08T19:45:00.000-06:00

Upstairs Asshole's friend peed in the flower bed outside my window last night around 12:30.* Because it's obviously so difficult to go upstairs and use the toilet like a potty-trained adult.

*I know this because Upstairs Asshole came downstairs and Friend of Upstairs Asshole proudly proclaimed he'd done so.

on cold-calling

2006-02-01T13:53:00.000-06:00

Wings and Vodka has a brilliant post about class participation strategies.

To his list, I'd like to add The EU:

The EU
(This only works if your prof calls on people by row.)
1) Wear a suit. If you can, get some of your classmates to wear suits as well--it's more convincing that way.
2) Before class, tell your prof you need to leave early for an interview. (note: this compromises anonymity and is thus moderately risky.)
3) Wait until he calls on your neighbor.
4) Leave.
5) Refrain from fist-pumping exultation until safely out in hallway.

trophy husbands need not apply

2006-01-25T19:30:00.000-06:00

While hanging out in the lounge between classes, we determined that, of the 11 girls of Section 1B (that includes HM, who will always be a 1B-er, no matter what Student Affairs says), two are married, one is engaged, one is engaged to be engaged, and five are in relationships of varying degrees of seriousness--putting the grand total of single girls in our mentor group at...two. Sorry guys. Guess it's still a seller's market for sugar mamas.

I'm not the only one

2006-01-22T13:27:00.000-06:00

This comic strip appeared on Friday, January 20. Coincidence? I think not.

I don't have a fire escape, but arrangements could be made.

dear diary

2006-01-20T12:09:00.000-06:00

yeah so like, that little angry asian chick who lives downstairs just came up and pounded on my door and told me my music was too loud. ok well, she didn't really tell me, but she glared at me, and since she's been up here like, maybe like, seven or eight times, i kind of got the hint, because i'm smart.

but anyway. i digress. (did you know that means to go off on a tangent? yeah. i learned that today in class. oh wait. i didn't go to class today because i overslept because like, i had friends over last night and we were up pretty late, but whatever man, college is all about the relationships! oh wait, but i'm digressing again. dammit.)

so anyway, yeah, she was standing there, all short and pissed off and stuff, and i was like, uhh, what's up? and she was all "do you want to come downstairs and hear how loud it is?" and i was like, "duh, whatever, i like, live here, i KNOW how loud it is." she doesn't seem very bright. i thought people in law school were supposed to be like smart and shit. anyway, so i was like, "yeah, but it's daytime" but then she like, glared at me again, and then she kind of rolled her eyes, so i was just like, "ok, sorry," cuz i am AWESOME with the ladies, and if there's one thing i've learned it's like, when a chick has her panties in a bunch, you just say "ok, whatever," and let her have her way. works every time! *schawing!*

but anyway. i am so tired of her complaining about my music. i mean, it's like music, dude! and it's seriously wack that she even cares anyway. she said something about studying, but i was like, whatever, nobody does that. i think once she said something about taking a nap too, but i was like whatever, cuz that's totally what class is for. she's just anal. (did you know that actually is short for "anal retentive"? it means your parents totally potty trained you too early. WACK! I KNOW! some australian guy came up with it. froyd maybe? eh, whatever.)

anyway, i think she should just chill out and stop bothering me. i have rights too you know! she's in law school, don't they talk about rights? man, i think i'm smarter than she is. i could totally go to law school too. watch me, all "boston legal." i could totally kick william shatner's ass!

ok well i have to go. me and some friends are meeting at this chick's house to hang out, if you know what i mean. i love college.

awkward

2006-01-16T15:46:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, while buying beer at Randall's:

Checkout guy: (noticing my teeth are chattering) Cold?
Me: Yes.
CG: How can you be cold?
Me: What can I say? Texas born and bred.
CG: (indicating his short-sleeved shirt) Well, I'm from California!
Me: Well, uhh...I guess I'm a wimp. (Handing him the beer)
CG: ID?

I hand him my ID, he rings it up, I swipe my credit card. A middle-aged guy then walked up in line next to me.

Middle-aged guy: (to CG) Did you check her ID??
Me: I'm 25.
Middle-aged: No way!
Me: Way.
CG: I'm 18!
Me: Yeah...(mumbling something about feeling old, and how time goes so fast that I'll wake up tomorrow and be 40 or something)
CG: It's a good thing you aren't waking up 40 in my family!
Me: Um...why?
CG: Because if you did, we'd spray you with Silly String!

Does this ever happen to anybody else?

RTFQ!

2006-01-12T23:03:00.000-06:00

I am trying to buy a textbook on ebay. I found one, but the picture was a little grainy and made the book look like it was in poor shape. The description said simply: "This is a must have for Con Law I and II. A perfect replacement for any lecture from some self-righteous con law professor!" Nothing about the condition. Being a little picky about my books, and figuring that maybe the seller just had a crappy camera, I sent this query:

"What condition is this book in? (How heavily highlighted/marked up is it? Are there water stains, etc.?) thanks, SP"

I received this response:

"Yes, it is a used book. However, if you don't buy this book for me you should get it because it definitaly makes more sense then the teacher. best, ___"

Sigh.

Eat it, USC.

2006-01-05T00:47:00.000-06:00

Matt Leinart, you seem like a nice guy and I find it endearing that you drive a crappy little Ford Ranger with no back bumper. I'm sorry it had to end this way. However, I wouldn't go saying things like "I still think we're the better team. They just made the plays at the end." It just makes you sound bitter, and that's sooooo 2005.

Mack Brown, I am sorry I ever doubted you.

Vince, you are my hero. Please please please please please please please please don't go to the NFL.

GAH!

2005-12-15T15:25:00.000-06:00

One of life's great mysteries:

Is there ANY rhyme or reason as to where Microsoft Word puts the "bullet" when you click the little "bullet" button? Because I sure as hell can't see any.

I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for the fact that sometimes it puts the bullet .5" indented THE WAY I SET IT TO BE and sometimes it arbitrarily puts the bullet in the middle of the page (which: huh?) and sometimes it puts it 1" indented and sometimes it's the solid black bullet and sometimes it's the little white circle bullet, but I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF.

Bill Gates obviously wants me to fail Civ Pro.

on sleep

2005-12-06T11:15:00.000-06:00

Taken from the New York Times:

Douglas Stinemetz, a lawyer with the Texas firm of Haynes & Boone who often travels between Houston and Moscow, frequently recharges his energy reserves at Moscow's bowling lanes from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. "Bowling does seem to combat jet lag," said Mr. Stinemetz. "I am staying up and active. It forces me to adjust quicker."

On the other hand, he recalls the time he drifted off while walking down a street - and collided with a parking meter. On another occasion, the lead negotiator on his team fell asleep in midsentence.

"We waited, thinking that he was just considering what to say for a few minutes," Mr. Stinemetz said. "Finally, someone nudged him, at which point he woke up and just continued like nothing had happened."

on being a geek

2005-12-05T23:00:00.000-06:00

While playing Mario Kart: Double Dash on GameCube with my brother:

C: Have you ever wondered why Yoshi doesn't fall off the back of the kart?

Me: What do you mean, fall off?

C: Well like--during the victory lap, he jumps up and down on the back of the kart, and he isn't holding onto anything. Wouldn't he just fly off when he jumped up?

Me: I don't think so...I mean, he's not actually jumping straight up and down. He's moving at the same speed as the kart. You know, like if you're standing inside a moving bus, and you toss a tennis ball in the air, to you it looks straight up and down, but to an observer standing outside the bus, it isn't. It's parabolic.

C: Yeah, but a bus is enclosed. But what about wind resistance? Like if you're in a convertible and you toss a tennis ball in the air, it doesn't come back down. It flies off behind the car.

Me: Well, right, but Yoshi's obviously heavier than a tennis ball.

C: I dunno. I still think it's weird that he doesn't fall off.

Me: (picking up the phone) I'm calling K.

C: Seriously, don't do that.

Me: Why not?

C: Because it's Mario Kart.

Me: Too late. (dialing)

C: Geez.

K: (groggily) hello?

Me: Did I wake you?

K: Yes.

Me: Oh. Sorry. Umm...I have a physics question for you.

K: Ok...?

Me: C and I are playing Mario Kart, and we want to know why Yoshi doesn't fly off the back of the kart when he jumps up and down on it during the victory lap.

K: (long pause) Well, he doesn't fly off because he's moving at the same speed as the kart.

Me: (to C) See? See??

C: Yeah yeah, ask him about wind resistance.

Me: What about wind resistance? Like if you have a tennis ball in a convertible...

K: Then it depends on how fast you're going. I don't think drag or whatever is a linear equation.

Me: But it's a victory lap. They're not going that fast.

K: Well, there you go. If you want to test it, you can dress C up like Yoshi and tell him to jump up and down on the back of your car while you drive slowly around your neighborhood.

Me: Hmm, there's an idea. C--

C: No.

Me: Damn.

the panic! the panic!

2005-11-22T01:56:00.000-06:00

To do: 22 Contracts exam practice questions, outline UCC, Civ Pro outline, Torts outline, resume/cover letters/research firms, read for Civ Pro, read for Torts, some LRW assignment that I haven't looked at but probably should.

Done: torts reading, and in a half-hearted manner. To quote SH, "I suck at life."

Ok--well, my evening wasn't a complete waste of time; I did discover this. I know, late to the party and all that, but it's highly entertaining. There was an especially guffaw-inducing post about having B < PL tattooed on one's ass. I tried to explain it to K. He did not find it so entertaining. But I think that's because first I had to explain what B < PL meant, only I couldn't remember what the letters stood for, only that it was Judge Hand's formula and that if the risk of X occurring and the damage that would be caused by X occurring outweighed the cost of taking measures to prevent X from occurring, then it would be negligent to not take those measures...and okay, now you won't find it funny either. BUT IT WAS HILARIOUS DAMMIT.

(The worst part is that I don't remember exactly which post it was, so I can't link to it to prove that it is, in fact, funny, and now I feel a little like Big Bird telling a disbelieving world about the Snuffleupagus, and no, I haven't already cracked under the stress of having to take what they call The Most Important Exams of Your Whole Life. Ever. I'm just not so great at explaining things.)

And now it's 2 a.m. and I didn't eat dinner, so I am starving, but if I were to fix something up, that'd take another hour of sleep away from me so I'm just going to eat my fourth Krispy Kreme donut of the day and go to bed.

music

2005-11-11T08:55:00.000-06:00

Iris plays tonight at Mozart's. 8:30-11:30, on the deck. It'll be SWEET!

bad news

2005-11-09T23:54:00.000-06:00

THEY'RE DISCONTINUING VANILLA COKE!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On TV

2005-11-08T23:53:00.000-06:00

Now that Sex and the City isn't only on HBO anymore, I've watched a few episodes and I have to say I don't really get all the fuss. Carrie and Charlotte annoy me. I don't really have any opinion on Miranda. In fact, if I had to pick a favorite character (after all of three eps), it'd be Samantha. (No, I'm not a sex fiend. She just seems way less needy than the others.)

In all fairness, I've only seen 3.5 episodes, so it may be too early to tell. But it was on earlier and I had to turn it off because Charlotte was giving her fiance puppy-dog eyes so he'd buy the $13,000 china at Bergdorf Goodman. Seriously, isn't she an attorney or whatever? She can buy her own stinkin' overpriced china.

Does anyone else hate that Citibank commercial where the guy is searching for the credit card bill, and his wife comes home, and he says "Honey, have you seen the credit card bill?" And his wife--who is incongruously carrying a potted cactus--says, in a faintly airheaded manner, "Oh....I think I might have thrown it away." Hello? If you know right off the bat that you threw it away, why didn't you look for it as soon as you threw it away? The argument that she didn't know she'd thrown it away and so couldn't look for it doesn't hold any water, because if she didn't know, she would've responded with an "Oh--is it not in that pile of papers on the desk?" Or "I think it might be with all the other bills on the kitchen counter." And THEN if she couldn't find it, then she could say, "Oh crap. I must've accidentally tossed it." But no. Gah. (Citibank, what happened? Your commercials used to be hilarious.)

I also hate the Jack-in-the-Box commercial where Jack tries to order lunch, only to discover he doesn't have his wallet. The girl behind the counter is astoundingly flip and stupid. I guess that's the point of the commercial. But it's still annoying.

There was a third commercial I hated, but I guess I don't hate it that much because I don't remember what it is.

Conan is on now. I love Conan.

art imitates life

2005-11-03T18:12:00.000-06:00

You may have seen commercials for the New Jetta--you know, the one where a young couple is dancing around their apartment to some song by Kings of Leon when their crochety and elderly downstairs neighbor, irked by the noise, comes upstairs and tells them to stop. The commercial then cuts to the couple driving around in their dark gray New Jetta, blasting loud music to their hearts' content.

So my noisy upstairs neighbor drives a dark gray New Jetta. Does that make me the old man?

EDIT: Ok, just found the commercial online and it's not dark gray--it's silver. Eh. Close enough.

the idiocy continues

2005-10-31T21:25:00.000-06:00

Those crazy Christians! They sure hold to what they believe!

I sometimes feel like I'm part of this huge extended family (the Smiths)--and for the most part, we're good people, and smart people, but there's this one crazy drunken uncle (let's call him Bob), and he's always going and embarrassing us in public. So whenever people see us, they're like, "Hey! You're from the Smith family, right? You'll never believe what your Crazy Uncle Bob did on Saturday night!" And it becomes all about Crazy Uncle Bob and his crazy uncle antics, despite the fact that said crazy uncle antics aren't actually representative of the Smith family or most of its members.

Anyway. More power to you, AFA and Pro-Life Action League. Way to "be on point!" Way to "stick to the message!" I hope you're pleased with yourselves. Wait. Of course you are. That's why you do what you do.

on squalor

2005-10-30T23:32:00.000-06:00

As I look around my apartment, at the dirty dishes piled in the sink, the empty water bottles I've yet to discard, the random items of food (bag of trail mix on the coffee table, half-eaten Odwalla Bar on my desk), the dirty socks, the clothing strewn over my couch, it occurs to me: I'm turning into a guy.

happy

2005-10-26T17:15:00.000-05:00

It has come to my attention that nearly all my posts have an angry tone, or at the least, a mildly irritated one. I wish to assure you, dear reader, that in reality, I'm actually all sunshine and roses. I just never have cause to write about the sunshiny things. Besides, happiness has less entertainment value.

But, in an effort to present a more fair and balanced view of my personality, some things I love, without irony:

Wallaby vanilla yogurt. This stuff is seriously the best yogurt ever. While other vanilla yogurts are often gelatinous, slightly sour, and completely un-vanilla-like, Wallaby actually tastes like vanilla and has the texture of English clotted cream (sounds disgusting but is quite scrumptious). I could eat it three meals a day if that whole malnutrition thing weren't an issue. If you're not yet convinced, I wasn't even a big yogurt fan before. (It's like guys. They always say they're afraid of commitment, but they aren't. They're just afraid of commitment to the wrong girl. Similarly, I always said I didn't like yogurt, but that wasn't true--I just hadn't found the right one yet. But I have now! *bats eyelashes*)

Patty Griffin, Madeleine Peyroux, and Wilco. If some thief were to steal my entire CD collection and inexplicably leave only the albums of these three artists, I would be okay with that. Well, not okay, but there would be slightly less angry screaming involved.

My car. It's so cute. I'm also glad I got one before they redesigned it to look like the love child of an Audi and a Corolla. (Audis and Corollas independently? Cute. Together? Meh.)

The Combination breakfast at Red River Cafe. Mmmm...pancakes.

Bacon.

Pom pomegranate juice. So tasty. So good for you. Ounce for ounce, almost as expensive as a bottle of chardonnay (the cheap stuff, but still.).

The contents of this list will probably do more to convince people that I'm a Central Market whore and less to convince them that I'm actually a well-adjusted person, but, eh. I likes what I likes.

grouchy

2005-10-25T18:31:00.000-05:00

Smoke alarm count: 3. I just cook with my front door open now.

Next semester's schedule:
Crim Law: 8:30-9:30 Tues-Fri
Property: 10:30-11:30 Mon-Thurs
Con Law I: 3:30-4:30 Mon-Wed
Legal Research and Writing: Thurs 11:30-12:30, Fri 10:30-11:30
Elective TBD

Having class at 8:30 nearly every day? Fine. Going until 4:30? Fine. Having classes on Friday? Fine. All three together in one schedule? Idiotic.

they've taken over my mind

2005-10-23T16:18:00.000-05:00

I was at Momoko today. They've got a sign that says "If you break anything, you will have to pay full retail price for it." Immediately I thought, "wait, wouldn't that put the seller in a better post-contract position?" Because if you break it, and pay full retail price, then the seller gets damages (price he paid for the item) plus net profits (markup), so he gets a profit even though he hasn't really sold anything--so if he buys a replacement and sells it, he has two profits for selling one item. Then of course I realized that was stupid, since it isn't like he could sell the broken one, so seller should get the benefit of his bargain and expectancy damages and all that. Then I wondered if that was even an enforceable contract, or if it was more of a quasi-contract, because you can't recover on expectancy in a quasi-contract. And then I realized I need to get out more.

on minutiae

2005-10-21T00:51:00.000-05:00

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook?

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook, that isn't for a grade?

Did I really just spend my entire night doing homework from a workbook, that isn't for a grade, for a one-hour class?

And did I do all that at the expense of reading for another class in which (I've heard) an 8 on the final is passing?

Gack.

we're not all like this.

2005-10-15T01:05:00.000-05:00

Let me state up front that I'm a Christian. I believe that God created the world and everything in it. I also believe that we're all sinners and that Jesus died to save us from those sins.

That said, who the hell are these people and why have they co-opted my religion???

I understand it's AFA's prerogative to boycott whatever they choose for whatever reason they want. That's fine.* What cheeses me off is that, contrary to what the right-wing wants you to believe, Christianity isn't about overturning Roe v. Wade. And it's not about making sure a gay couple you've never met, and will most likely never meet, can't get a civil union.

It's easy to say, "those horrible girls who get abortions, and their poor fetuses, I'd never do that," because abortion is (thankfully) not something most of us encounter with any sort of frequency. It's easy to say, "I think marriage should only be between a man and a woman and I'm going to vote to amend the Constitution to keep it that way," because, well, if you're voting for it, I'd say there's a fairly good chance you're heterosexual and will thus never feel the effects of the amendment you're voting for. (Handy, huh?)

My knowledge of the Bible isn't nearly as exhaustive as it should be, but I seem to remember a couple of verses here and there about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc. Maybe a couple of verses about defending the fatherless and pleading the case of the widow? It's our duty as Christians to do these things. And there are many Christian organizations that have taken up the mantle. But the single-minded focus on "moral issues" have made it so that now, when people hear about Christians, they don't think about the Foundation for the Homeless or International Justice Mission, or any other of a number of Christian organizations that have taken Micah 6:8 to heart.** All they see is a group of self-righteous, self-interested, self-aggrandizing blowhards who are more concerned with pointing out other people's sins than they are with their own. And we're not all like that. I know we aren't.

I want my religion back.

*Heck, it's probably a good financial decision, because those dolls--and all their attendant accessories--are pricey (yes, I have one and yes, I was a little princess) .
** "And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." -Micah 6:8, NIV

celebrity

2005-10-13T21:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my civ pro professor took a few of us out to lunch. Our waiter was the guy in the Whataburger commercial! You know, the one who "out-Whataburgers" his friend??

Okay well, I thought it was cool.

on context

2005-10-13T14:46:00.000-05:00

In contracts today:

Prof. R: Is that a valid liquidated damages clause, if the parties knew or suspected that the damages would be much more? Is it a valid clause? Yes or no?

random classmate: No, because I'd say that's unconscionable.

Prof. R: Unconscionable. Hmm. I don't even know what the hell that means.

fan letter

2005-10-08T01:40:00.000-05:00

Dear Michael Schur,

I read the article about your exploits regarding Hurricane Katrina and the driver of a certain Saab in The New Yorker today. I was especially impressed by this clause:

"Schur went to meet some friends, who agreed that a creased bumper, when measured against a calamity like Katrina, was trivial indeed..."

I'm glad you're using your Harvard education to such great effect, Mr. Schur. Have you and your friends also decided that water is wet, or are you saving that for next week?

Also impressive was the logical progression you used to get from "a damaged car is trivial compared to Katrina" to "I damaged that car but Katrina is bad, so I shouldn't have to pay for the damage I caused, and Saab Guy is a jerk for thinking I should pay, because think of the starving children and boo hoo!" There really are no words to describe the masterful way in which you turned your focus onto something completely irrelevant. I'm in awe. Maybe someday I'll be as smart as you.

I must fly, but one last thing. Making donations to the Red Cross Katrina fund under the name "Saab Guy Is an Asshole"? HI-larious! And so classy.

Kisses,
SP

p.s. I'm allowed to rear-end your car without consequence now, right? Because, Darfur? Rwanda? The Holocaust? Human behavior from pretty much the dawn of time? All terrible. So you shouldn't worry about the fact that I just put a dent in the bumper of your Acura TL. It's trivial. You said so yourself.

on ill-temper

2005-10-06T23:44:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling rather misanthropic lately. If I were of a more sanguine temperament, I'd say it was my new, improved, take-no-sh*t persona emerging. But it's more likely that I've just become a peevish old woman way before my time.

N.S.: my apartment is clean for the first time in a month. It's nice. I even took out the trash.

lost and found

2005-10-06T02:22:00.000-05:00

Went to hear the Spazmatics tonight at Cedar Street. It was fun until about 1:30 a.m., when SR got thrown out for "moshing." BC then tried to defend him, but only got thrown out alongside SR for his trouble. In the ensuing confusion, our group got split up. I'd only had one drink, about 10ish, then two glasses of water, so I drove CR's car. It's official, people. I've driven a Suburban. Anyway, we get to the exit of the parking garage and CAN'T FIND THE STINKIN' PARKING TICKET, since EU drove us there and we couldn't find him to ask where it was. The attendant was unsympathetic to our plight, and charged us the full $15, despite the fact that we'd already paid our $4 to park there in the first place.

When we got back to CR's house, guess what I found, stuck in the instrument panel? Yup. Grrr. I wonder if they'd refund the money if I went back tomorrow.

And now for a shower, because I am seriously gross.

on fidelity

2005-10-03T20:57:00.000-05:00

"See, baby? I gots men men men serenading me, but I'm waiting for you!" (Photo and caption by LH)

bad metaphor, just for you

2005-10-02T22:33:00.000-05:00

Chris Martin, on Radiohead: "We're like an eager dog just yapping around their heels, and they're trying to kick us away...It's like unrequited love. I'm in love with a lot of things. Some of those things love me back. And some of them don't—and one of them is Radiohead."*

Had our first IM soccer game tonight. We got lit up 6-1. Our illustrious captain--who was responsible for putting us in the A league in the first place--did not attend. And I think I re-injured my ankle. Still, I had fun. Even though I'm really not that good at soccer. Because soccer RULES! *grunt*

*http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/8018845/site/newsweek (near the bottom. I'm not a huge Coldplay fan, but I think I love Chris Martin a little for that line.)

hmmm.

2005-09-29T06:35:00.000-05:00

I obviously didn't have enough to drink because it's 6:30 a.m. and I'm wide awake.

Maybe I'll go to Walmart. I do need a binder...and eggs.

victory!

2005-09-27T22:59:00.000-05:00

Summary Judgment is 1-0. Woohoo!

on regret

2005-09-25T23:49:00.000-05:00

Just spoke to LH about ACL. He said Wilco put on the best show he'd ever seen them put on. Jeff Tweedy danced! And I missed it. :o( It was 104 degrees outside today, so partly I'm not sorry I didn't go...but partly I am...because I love me some Wilco.

At least I got to hear SOUNDteam on Friday. It was super great. (SY thought so too. Woohoo! A convert!) The whole band played with tons of energy (which is even more impressive considering they'd already played earlier that day at ACL, in the searing sun no less) and sounded tighter than I've ever heard them. So yeah. It was awesome. Couldn't even be ruined by the skeevy drunk guy who offered to let me sit on his shoulders for $3. (He eventually lowered the price to 57 cents. I declined.)

Anyway, their EP comes out Oct. 18!

I wasn't as impressed by the Walkmen. Their encore set was pretty good, but to me the rest was just noise. I don't have anything against noisy, but there's good noisy (Pixies), and there's bad (screaming faux-Pixies). Maybe they play better outdoors.

Ok, in the interest of full disclosure, I should admit I've never liked the Walkmen. They have their moments, but on the whole, I just don't feel the love (same goes for Bright Eyes and Modest Mouse). I'm not unreasonable, though; I went into the show prepared to change my mind, but it didn't happen. Sorry, MO. But you mock me for liking the Postal Service, so we're even.

goulash

2005-09-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

Just got an email from UT. Due to Hurricane Rita, classes will be cancelled...on Saturday. Yay.

I discovered tonight that the vent hood of my stove does indeed work, which is good. Maybe now I'll be able to make dinner without the smoke alarm going off. (Yes, I know this is my second post about the smoke alarm going off. It's not what it looks like, I swear.)

Yesterday, SH and I went to HEB. SH had a watermelon in her cart. While we were in line, a random guy walked up to her, looked in the cart, exclaimed, "Watermelon! Dude, that's an awesome idea!" and scampered off. We were both confused. Clearly not as confused as he was, though.

Let it be noted that it's Thursday night and I am at home, reading Contracts, not out on 6th for Bar Review. This is of momentous import. It's no secret that I was quite the slacker in undergrad; BS once called me "the worst study-er [he'd] ever seen." And he was an engineer, so he knows from studying. Anyway, baby steps. Maybe I'll have an appreciable attention span by Christmas.

on predestination

2005-09-21T16:05:00.000-05:00

Today in Civil Procedure, we learned about FRCP 12 (b)(6), which enables a defendant to ask for the dismissal of a case on the grounds that plaintiff hasn't pleaded a claim that would entitle him to relief.

I just got an email from my dad because he needs me to edit a memo for him. Lo and behold, it's called "Notes on FRCP 12(b)(6)."

This is obviously a sign from God.

mmm....chocolate chip brownie with ice cream.

2005-09-20T20:15:00.000-05:00

Jason is the best!!! :o)

exercise canceled until further notice

2005-09-19T09:45:00.000-05:00

I've lost 5 pounds in the past two weeks. As a percentage of total body weight, that's not so good.

on schadenfreude

2005-09-18T15:56:00.000-05:00

Kid upstairs is playing the music again. It's actually not that bothersome right now since I'm neither studying nor trying to sleep, but I went ahead and knocked on the apt. manager's door to see if he wanted to come over for "proof," so to speak. After all, I'm a law student, and ancient to boot. It's possible I'm just crochety.

He said he didn't even have to come over and hear for himself--he'd already gone over to give the kid a warning, and the kid obviously wasn't listening to him, so he was going to call the parents tomorrow morning and let them know that if the kid doesn't watch it, he'll get evicted AND they'll be liable for his entire year's rent.

Muahahaha. Muahahahaha.

on human idiocy, part 2

2005-09-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we had our law school field day. "Race Judicata," they call it. Yuk yuk. :o) 'Twas a good time. Would've been better if we'd won, but at least we played it clean, not like the other society that won by cheating at egg toss, or the society that tried to psych out our bocce ball players by yelling "Sutton sucks!" while they were throwing. Stinkin' gunners. You're just jealous of our awesome baby blue shirts. (I'm not being sarcastic; I really think our shirts are the best.)

But I digress. So I'm sitting on the bleachers between events, hanging out, when this guy walks up to me and greets me by name. I'm immediately weirded out by this, as I don't recall ever having met him before. Apparently he asked me my name in Contracts. I guess I told him and promptly forgot. Anyway, our conversation:

random sketchy guy: Hey, SP.
me: Um. Hi?
rsg: You know that girl AT in our Contracts class? Small, Asian?
me: Um. I guess so, not really.
rsg: She was talking shit about your tug 'o war skills.
me: Um. Okay?
rsg: Yeah, she was over there while y'all were playing tug 'o war, saying, "man, that chick SP, I could take her out anytime." I think she wants to start something.
me: All right.....?
rsg: Yeah, I think you should go over and tell her you're not gonna take that.
me: Okay......? (thinking: what I should really be doing is running away right about now.)
rsg: And when you do, I want to watch.

Okay freakazoid, I don't know how you and your asian fetish got in here, but I think I'm going to find a way of spinning this as an Honor Code violation so that mistake can be rectified.

on human idiocy

2005-09-16T22:20:00.000-05:00

This morning, about 4, I was awakened by the sound of something hitting the outside wall of my bedroom. In my stupor, I thought it was the paperboy, delivering papers by throwing them against my apartment. So I just stayed in bed, figuring he'd deliver his papers and drive on, leaving me to a dreamless slumber.

Alas! it was not to be. The sound continued, and finally I got up and opened the blinds, only to see--

MY ASSHOLE UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOR, OR HIS ASSHOLE FRIEND, THROWING BASEBALLS OR ROCKS (couldn't tell--I'm nearsighted) AT OUR WALL. Drunk, of course. It took him a while to notice me standing there, my arms up in a "what the hell?!" position. I think I even yelled, "what the hell?!" but owing to physics and his inebriated state, I'm not entirely sure he heard me. He did stand there and laugh, though.

After about two minutes, a visual signal finally reached his pea-sized brain. It then took another minute or so for his brain to process that visual signal and its meaning, at which he finally slunk off to join his fellows under the nearest rock.

on malnutrition

2005-09-15T23:46:00.000-05:00

*phone rings*

me: hello?
mom: hi, where are you?
me: at my apartment.
mom: what have you been eating?
me: ....
mom: you've been eating that barbecue chicken from h.e.b. for the past four days, haven't you?
me: ....
mom: that's it. i'm coming over.

thanks Mom. :o)

good soundproofing makes good neighbors

2005-09-11T03:30:00.000-05:00

The people upstairs are so obnoxious. If I weren't already awake, I'd be really pissed.

On a brighter note, hook 'em Horns! Take THAT, Buckeyes! :oD

2005-09-09T01:21:00.000-05:00

Number of clocks/timekeeping pieces in my apartment: 7
Number of clocks/timekeeping pieces in my apartment that say the same time as each other: 0

I have no idea what time it is.

on common sense

2005-09-07T19:53:00.000-05:00

When in the course of making dinner the smoke alarm goes off, it is advisable to immediately remove the offending item from the pan. It is less advisable to grab the entire pan, run outside, and stand there like an idiot.

old habits die hard

2005-09-07T01:06:00.000-05:00

I have six pages of Civil Procedure left to read. I was going to finish it tomorrow in the ten minutes I have between Torts and Civ Pro, but then I decided it wasn't far enough into the semester for me to be doing my homework during class. Also, were I to read the remaining six pages during those ten minutes, I wouldn't have enough time to go and get my free coffee (thank you, Fulbright & Jaworski!).

So I will finish it now, and not later. Anyway, these concerns are all moo (tm Joey Tribbiani), as my neighbors are currently making strange whooping/grunting noises out by the pool, precluding me from sleeping. No, they aren't doing that. I don't think.

On an unrelated note, I would like it a great deal if people would say of me: "She's small and she's cute and if you tick her off, she'll kick your ass." I know it isn't true right now, but I'm working on it. Happy childhood notwithstanding.